The Fountain

I run and run, my hands gripping my head in the pain of everything. My life. I had tried so hard to block it out, the pain of always being alone, the pain of always wanting something, needing something, until it had become just a habit, and I could forget why. I had self-imposed selective amnesia. But now, it was all welling up inside of me, threatening to burst out. I felt like I was gonna explode. If I stopped running, if I stopped moving, the energy would have nowhere to go, and that would be the end. So I ran.
I wasn't sure where I was headed. It didn't matter to me. I was blind with fear, with sadness, with emptiness. I didn't want to go back to my apartment. I didn't want to see all of the useless shit I had stolen just to fill the cavity in my dried up heart. Because it never would, truly.
My legs burned, my feet slipped on the wet ground. But I kept going. It was like all of the force inside of me was pouring out now, all of the frustration. I passed the gurgling fountain, then circled back around. And kept circling. Why was I drawn to this fountain all of a sudden? Wait. Wasn't it broken? Why is it working now? I watched all of the water pour out of it, and cleanse the dirty, broken stone. Then I understood.
I was just like the fountain.
Dirty, broken, old. Then all of a sudden, after many years in a drought, blocked up, sitting there useless, full of energy again. So I jumped in. When this realization came to me, I was ovewhelmed with the desire to be as close as possible to this wonderful thing, this pure thing. To be one with it. So I jumped in, and sank.
The water rushing down on me submerged me, pushing me under and keeping me under. As it pushed, I felt the emotions get carried away with it. I let them. I don't know how long I stayed there. Eventually I moved to the side and floated on my back so I could breathe. And all I was thinking about was my mother. How much I missed her. How I should have found her by now. Then the rain began to fall. I was surrounded by water now. Under me, in me, and now dripping on me. I let it consume me, overpower me, which was so opposite my nature I felt like a new person. Maybe I was a new person. Or maybe I've always been this person, I've just never let them be free.
So I stood up, and stepping out of the fountain gave me a new purpose. I needed to find her. She was the only woman I wanted in my life. I didn't need the girl with the cellphone, or pretty Bianca. I needed my mother. Only she knew me for who I really am, and by Jesus I needed to be me.
I started walking back to Watershed Heights, to collect my things and let them know I was leaving. As I walked along, I noticed a crowd of people standing around something. What is that? Ew, a smushed body. I wonder if that's what I woulda looked like if I'd stopped running back there and let everything explode out of me. I involuntarily shivered.
Entering my room with my new eyes shocked me. What had I been living in? With? I gathered everything up, and put it out on the front lawn of Watershed Heights. Tacking a sign in front, I put:
Sorry if I stole your shit. Take it back.
I was about to walk away, when I had an idea. I grabbed the meteorite, and walked back to the dead girl. Placing it in her mangled hands, I said, "Here's something beautiful that fell from the sky, just like you." Then I turned towards the bus station.
Maybe I would buy a blueberry pie, and finally give it to her. My mother.