I was feeling like shit after what happened at the playground. I pretty much did the opposite of what I set out to do! And now I had a cellphone and I didn't even know it's number. I needed a drink.
I headed over to the bar. I hadn't been yet, because when I drink my compulsions usually get worse. But I didn't care anymore. However, I sat down at a table because I was hungry too. I was in the mood for some wings, so I asked for a dozen and a cold beer.
*BZZZ*
My pocket had lit up. Looking at the cellphone screen gave me the view MOM. I quickly rejected the call. No way was I gonna talk to the owner's mom, haha. How ridiculous. Maybe I should see if there's a home number and return it...but the thought of facing her, no I couldn't do it. Not yet anyways.
The waiter came over and gave me my chicken wings and I devoured them quickly, washing it down with the beer. After a large burp, I gave a cursory glance around the room. I saw a very pretty woman at a table near me. Who's that? I wondered. All of a sudden my self confidence came rushing back. I'll try one more time...so before I could convince myself otherwise my legs had brought me over to her table and sat me down.
"Hey, I'm Kalvin."
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Attempt
The next day I got restless. The carnival was as good as gone with only pieces of ash floating about to remind us of it, so I couldn't go there. Maybe I should meet someone. Add some spice to my life. Then maybe I could control myself more...
I walked outside the apartment building, narrowly avoiding falling down the crumbling stairs. There were two potted plants on either side of the entrance, crumbling and wilting with decay, but I noticed a solitary flower fighting for existence. So I plucked it! It was gonna die anyways, and maybe someone will like it. I started for the playground. Nice people hang out at the playground, right? Especially since there aren't any kids around.
When I got there, there were several people around. I noticed a woman sitting on a park bench so I decided to go up and talk to her. Smoothing back my hair, clearing my throat, I came up from behind and tried to decide what to say. "Hey--" CRASH!
The crash covered up my pathetic attempt at conversation. I looked towards where the noise had originated from and saw a bunch of men stealing an ATM machine. That's dumb, now the police will be after them, I thought. Amatuers.
The woman was now trying to dial 911 on her cellphone, but I could tell it wasn't working. I walked around to the front of the bench, intending to help her and hopefully learn her name.
"Would you like me to try? I'm good with phones," I smiled as I said this. She must have trusted me enough, or just didn't care anymore, because she said "Sure" and handed me the phone. I looked down,and felt the weight of the small phone in my hand. My fingers fit perfectly over it. I stared at the screen trying to remember what to do when the screen started to swim in my vision. No, I'm not gonna take this, I want to impress her and stealing her phone will NOT help, I thought.
"On second thought, I need to go..." I think she sensed my discomfort with the phone. She held out her hand to take it back, and I started to hand it to her. Almost there.
Almost. But not quite. I didn't even get to see her face as I ran off. Probably never would again.
I walked outside the apartment building, narrowly avoiding falling down the crumbling stairs. There were two potted plants on either side of the entrance, crumbling and wilting with decay, but I noticed a solitary flower fighting for existence. So I plucked it! It was gonna die anyways, and maybe someone will like it. I started for the playground. Nice people hang out at the playground, right? Especially since there aren't any kids around.
When I got there, there were several people around. I noticed a woman sitting on a park bench so I decided to go up and talk to her. Smoothing back my hair, clearing my throat, I came up from behind and tried to decide what to say. "Hey--" CRASH!
The crash covered up my pathetic attempt at conversation. I looked towards where the noise had originated from and saw a bunch of men stealing an ATM machine. That's dumb, now the police will be after them, I thought. Amatuers.
The woman was now trying to dial 911 on her cellphone, but I could tell it wasn't working. I walked around to the front of the bench, intending to help her and hopefully learn her name.
"Would you like me to try? I'm good with phones," I smiled as I said this. She must have trusted me enough, or just didn't care anymore, because she said "Sure" and handed me the phone. I looked down,and felt the weight of the small phone in my hand. My fingers fit perfectly over it. I stared at the screen trying to remember what to do when the screen started to swim in my vision. No, I'm not gonna take this, I want to impress her and stealing her phone will NOT help, I thought.
"On second thought, I need to go..." I think she sensed my discomfort with the phone. She held out her hand to take it back, and I started to hand it to her. Almost there.
Almost. But not quite. I didn't even get to see her face as I ran off. Probably never would again.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Spark
After I got home with the gravestone-having had to drag it up the stairs so that little chunks kept coming off of it- I dropped it in the middle of the room with a loud bang. I bet people appreciated that downstairs, I thought. Hehehe. This place was beginning to have an effect on me, it was making me not even care about what others felt. Why should I care? No one cares about me. No one's ever cared about me. That's why I moved to this shithole, because the last place kicked me out.
BOOM!
An explosion rocked the apartment's foundations. Uhh...that wasn't because of my new table, was it? I thought. Then I glimpsed red outside of the window. Running towards it, I realized that I may have indeed caused the explosion, but not with my table. The food carts were all on fire down at the carnival. I randown the stairs and out the door to go see more and figure out what happened. Maybe I could redeem myself by helping out.
I walked up to a nun, thinking that out of everybody here she would be the one to tel me the truth. "What happened?" I asked.
"Well the food cart guy came back from somewhere screaming his head off about some dirty thief, and then he noticed that the rest of his chicken had been stolen while he was away. He flew into a rage and pulled out some dynamite from his beard, and exploded the cart! I woud be scared if I were that original thief, the vendor started shouting all these death threats about him.
Oh shiiiit, I thought. Gotta go.
But not before I noticed the nun put her arm around a clown. A clown? I thought nuns didn't date...this place really is changing people. Maybe she wasn't so trustworthy after all. I stared into the flames licking at the cloth tent that the carts were up against. This place is gonna be burned to the ground. No point in staying.
BOOM!
An explosion rocked the apartment's foundations. Uhh...that wasn't because of my new table, was it? I thought. Then I glimpsed red outside of the window. Running towards it, I realized that I may have indeed caused the explosion, but not with my table. The food carts were all on fire down at the carnival. I randown the stairs and out the door to go see more and figure out what happened. Maybe I could redeem myself by helping out.
I walked up to a nun, thinking that out of everybody here she would be the one to tel me the truth. "What happened?" I asked.
"Well the food cart guy came back from somewhere screaming his head off about some dirty thief, and then he noticed that the rest of his chicken had been stolen while he was away. He flew into a rage and pulled out some dynamite from his beard, and exploded the cart! I woud be scared if I were that original thief, the vendor started shouting all these death threats about him.
Oh shiiiit, I thought. Gotta go.
But not before I noticed the nun put her arm around a clown. A clown? I thought nuns didn't date...this place really is changing people. Maybe she wasn't so trustworthy after all. I stared into the flames licking at the cloth tent that the carts were up against. This place is gonna be burned to the ground. No point in staying.
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